The World according to yaya

Monday, June 13, 2005

Let's get a couple of things straight:
1. This is not and will not become a blog dedicated to weight loss
2. However, because my life revolves around losing weight so much, a great percentage of this blog will be related to my losing weight

Okay, now that I've written that- into the juicy stuff. I don't feel as lost as I did. I have began a life long endeavor of improving my health and fitness and if I lose weight in the process it will be a fantastic bonus. I am eating healthy but not obsessively (as I have in the past) and I am walking daily. I am not feeling guilty for not doing more. I am not feeling guilty for eating carbs or for having the occassional treat or for not excercising for over 2 hours a day or for enjoying exploring new places on my walks or for not having lost any weight this week.
I am just living life like every other human being does every single day. It is a very strange feeling. I don't know how long it will last. But I do know that if my follow my program, I will eventually achieve my goals of being a healthy and fit person. My program is to live every day like there is no tommorow. How cliched. But how rewarding.

I had a long talk to my brother last night. Al (as I shall call him) is a manic depressive who is in denial- he gets by on minimal intervention, getting loaded and many phone calls of despair to his ya-ya. I love him very much and try to understand where he is coming from but I can't understand what it must be like to not want to live. I have decided I am going to live until I am 102 years of age. And I am serious. There is so much I want to do and experience is this life that I feel I need that long to do it. My favourite quote is "THE WORLD IS AN AMAZING PLACE"

Maybe that is why I want to gain control over my eating and weight. I don't want to waste any more time obsessing and depressing. I just want to live.

There is a fantastic website at www. superherodesigns.com. Andrea is a goddess who wants to create a happier world. Read her entry on a creating a summer essay. I am writing mine but as my winter of content. She also has a fantastic idea about creating a mondo beyondo list. I started one in NY at the beginning of this year but A. really has inspired me to tweak with it a view to making it special.

Because I am special. And I deserve all that this world has to offer. And that is the word.

1 Comments:

  • At 2:17 PM, Blogger sueeeus said…

    Oh dear, YaYa. My brother had bipolar disorder. Please please please be there for yours, and try to reach him and read his signs and understand him. My brother is gone now, and I am faced at looking back and wondering if there was anything I could have done. I hope that he has love in his life. Love is such a healer. Better than any meds. It's a giver of hope and bringer of light. I will be praying for your brother to find and hold on to the light. It's such a delicate dance.

     

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