The World according to yaya

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

One in Ten

I am a one in ten.

She felt again for the money in her pocket. She could almost count the clean, crisp bills with her fingers.
$290.00. More money than she had ever had in her possession at one time. She felt so frightened.
She was the One.

She stared out of the tram window and tried to get her bearings. The only time she had ever been in this area before was with her parents. They had taken her out to celebrate her exam results last year.
A smart girl. A clever girl -who would go far. But they weren't here now. She felt so alone.
She was the One.

She stepped slowly off of the tram steps, her legs not quite moving how she wanted them to. She tripped on the gutter and grazed her palm and her knee- her school dress muddy, her dark blue tights all torn. She tried to pull her tights higher, so that the hole was covered by the hem of her muddy dress. She held back tears as she tried to dry the blood on her dirty palm by blowing on it. She felt so sad.
She was the One.

She tried not to look at the people milling about the front of the centre - protesting, forceably preventing her from entering the premises. A ecurity guard grabbed her arm and pulled her safely into the building. On her exam last year, she had written a essay about those protesters. She knew all their was to say on the topic - the pro's and con's, the why and how's. Now she knew how to feel too. She was a smart and articulate young lady. She felt so stupid.
She was the One.

She sat very still and very straight. The room was almost full with other people- mothers and daughters, friends together, couples.
She stared straight ahead and held back the aching sob she felt rising in her throat, the tears welling up in her eyes. She heard her name being called and struggled to gather her things. She felt so alone.
She was the One.

She awoke and felt tears drying on her cheeks. She felt a heaviness in her head and an emptyness in her body. She rose from the bed and allowed herself to be walked around, dressed and fed. She was told that someone was coming to collect her soon. She knew she had to get home quickly, so that she was not missed. She collected her things, declined to talk and made her way to the car. She sat by the window and watched the world go by. She felt a part of her die inside.
She was the One.

She felt so frightened, so sad, so alone. So tired.
She lay down slowly onto her bed and hugged her pillow tightly.
She tried to forget all that had happened, all that she had done.
She closed her eyes and made a promise to herself that she would never go through this again.

She was the One.


  • At 5:40 PM, Anonymous sueeeus said…

    Oh YaYa, I don't know what to say. I hope you are okay. I'm so glad that you finally posted, but it's such a sad post. I'm sending you hugs from across the sea. Be strong. Be well.


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